U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
PANTIES FOUND
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
