if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
