if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
