Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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