I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
