The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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