Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
