just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
