three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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