I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
