I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
