And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
