I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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