Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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