It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
