I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he puts the penis in happiness.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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