Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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