Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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