Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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