so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
