Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
