Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My life is pants optional.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
