we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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