I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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