I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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