Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
please don't ironically join a cult
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