Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
