she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
