Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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