I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need moral support for this bender
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
