i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
