Me too!
Quick, to the slutcave!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
