Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
