Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
