Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
