so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
