he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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