I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
