U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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