My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
