YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
