help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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