I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a hoe opinion
go on
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm always down for nudity.
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