new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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