btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
