I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
