Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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