just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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