dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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