'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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