i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
