My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
