I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
