great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
